


Never Notice

by Lost_at_Sea



Category: Their Finest (2016)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 08:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14690160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_at_Sea/pseuds/Lost_at_Sea
Summary: Phyl is always still there, churning away at a mountain of paperwork when Catrin leaves. She passes her office on the way out and she's always in there. Sometimes she's smoking. Sometimes she's removed her blazer. Sometimes she's staring out the very tiny window in her office. Most of the time she manages to be buried in her papers but also sitting with impeccable posture. Most of the time she's chewing on her pen. Most of the time she looks utterly exhausted.Catrin will admit, to herself at least, that the other woman greatly intrigues her. She's never met someone who flaunts it as much as Phyl.





	Never Notice

Phyl is always still there, churning away at a mountain of paperwork when Catrin leaves. She passes her office on the way out and she's always in there. Sometimes she's smoking. Sometimes she's removed her blazer. Sometimes she's staring out the very tiny window in her office. Most of the time she manages to be buried in her papers but also sitting with impeccable posture. Most of the time she's chewing on her pen. Most of the time she looks utterly exhausted. 

Catrin will admit, to herself at least, that the other woman greatly intrigues her. She's never met someone who flaunts it as much as Phyl. Catrin's cousin back in Wales had run away into the countryside with another boy from school. She knows it's something that happens, but no one talks about it. And then there's Phyl, trousers, blazers, ties. Yet her femininity is never in question. Perhaps that's what intrigues Catrin so greatly. How Phyl can be so womanly in her men's-style clothing. Her confidence as she blatantly shows the world who she is. The vigor with which she lives. 

At first, Phyl was an intimidating yet welcome presence in the midst of all those men. Phyl doesn't have the patience for them, and she extends only the barest, courteous amount to Catrin. And Catrin appreciates her kind but tough approach. Even the small leeway Phyl gives her lets her breathe when she feels like even the wrong syllable will be the end of this job. The end of London and back to Wales. 

 

Tom hates Phyl and she doesn't quite understand it. She thinks it's more than just the ministry thing, but she supposes that doesn't help. When the boys are gone, which happens more regularly than Catrin would have thought, Phyl usually comes up with some reason to keep Catrin company- at least for the few short moments, she can spare. Once, when the boys left for a long lunch, she brought a few sheets of paperwork up with her, sat on the edge of Buckley's desk and said nothing- just inclined an eyebrow at Catrin as she worked. Like a sixth sense she stood up, smiled brightly at Catrin and left approximately two minutes before the boys came stumbling back in. 

Phyl comes in with bruises once in a while. Usually on her face. Phyl waves off Catrin's concerned looks with clipped comments on getting caught in the bombing. The boys mumble about her being so stubborn she'd walk through a minefield just to avoid being a minute late. Catrin, however, knows those bruises come from hands. But she also knows better than to call Phyl on her bluff. 

They take the train to Devin and Phyl sits across from Chick as they argue and discuss. At some point, she sighs, stands, and walks to sit with Catrin. Neither woman says anything but as Phyl's fingers fidget with each other, Catrin, without taking her eyes off her page, reaches out and stills them with her own hand. She feels Phyl look at her for a long moment before the older woman squeezes her hand in thanks and then pulls out papers of her own to review. 

Whoever was in charge of the rooming situation at Devon has placed Parfitt and Buckley in the room directly across the hall from Catrin's room, which, they find out quickly, she's supposed to be sharing with Phyl. Phyl comes the closest to blushing Catrin thinks she ever has, and immediately stiffens her shoulders and mutters swear words intermingled with the word Chick (even though Catrin's fairly sure he was not in charge of rooming). Catrin is trying very hard not to laugh when Phyl sighs deeply and mumbles that the couch in the far bar will do. Catrin rolls her eyes and pushes Phyl into the room lightly. The redhead stumbles, however, and looks back at Catrin confusedly. 

"Oh come now Phyl. It doesn't matter to me."

There's hesitation to Phyl's smile but none in the sharp elevation of her eyebrow. 

 

There are two beds in the room, obviously made up for children and the women laugh. As it is Phyl must be up far earlier than Catrin to ready for the day of filming, and she usually stays in the common area to finish her paperwork so Catrin and she don't spend much time at all in their room, but when they do, it's always a joyous time. They laugh at the memories of Ambrose or Carl from the day. Catrin will make Phyl guffaw repeating Buckley's comments on the day and Catrin is practically in stitches every time Phyl impersonates one of Hilliard's many hilarities. They grow closer. More comfortable. 

Since they've been in Devin, Phyl's face has been unmarred, but one day she comes back to the room earlier than usual and there is a bright red welt on her cheek, a cut in her forehead and she's favoring her right side. Catrin, who assumed it had been a particular someone in London is immediately concerned. She lights the oil lamp and Phyl turns away. She stands and takes the lamp with her and stays paused in front of Phyl until she turns to look at her. There is the slightest shimmer in Phyl's eyes that betray her emotion and Catrin's heart aches. 

"Well," Catrin lilts, "there's no way you can pass this one off as a bombin'"

Phyl almost chuckles. Her body makes the movement as if her brain can't decide whether to laugh or not. 

"Hazard of the lifestyle one could call it." She mutters, hand fluttering around the cut, and her voice even more hoarse and low than usual. 

At Catrins confused look she continues "not all people are as willing to share space with someone like me as you are Catrin. Even if that space is the entire planet."

Catrin lays a hand on Phyl's shoulder and squeezes. She pretends not to see as one tear slips out of the corner of Phyl's eye. 

The next morning Catrin wakes extra early to help Phyl cover her now bruised cheek and clean up the small cut. Catrin continuously tries and fails to catch Phyl's eye during the day but the clenching of the other woman's jaw is enough for Catrin to see red for a short moment. 

They move past it. Her face heals. Her tears dry. Catrin stays... a little closer and looks at the men with s little more caution and a little more anger. Phyl stops going on walks and stays indoors most of the time, though Catrin sees how that kills her. Then things change after Catrin convinces Hilliard to help Carl. 

For one thing, Catrin is far busier. Scenes to rewrite. Hilliard constantly grabbing for her attention. And this makes her days longer. She starts getting to bed at the same time as Phyl where before she used to be almost asleep by the time Phyl came in to grab her pajamas and toothbrush before retreating to the bathroom. So now when she gets out of the shower, Phyl's standing waiting in the hall to go next and she's not nearly asleep by the time Phyl comes to their room. They stay up talking. Catrin learns a lot about Phyl. She also starts getting up earlier too. And she wakes as Phyl is heading to grab food. By the time she's dressed Phyl usually is sitting at a table, the meal finished, papers out and has a cup of tea for herself across from the one she's started making for Catrin. 

They have plenty to talk about. They gripe about Chick and Alex and Buckley and Hilliard respectfully. They laugh over Carl's slow progress and the one crew boy who always has googly eyes over the girls. They smile conspiratorially at the way Hilliard fidgets every time someone mentions his agent. 

But they also talk about more serious things when the dark settles over them. Catrin talks about how different Ellis has been since she got the job. She notes his temper spikes and the fact that he started to spend less and less time at home. She speaks about how much she wants to prove to him, to Buckley, to everyone, that she's important to this team. Phyllis whispers back that "if those fools don't see that they're blind." And says even more quietly how she, herself, has, of course, noticed the benefits. 

Phyl speaks about personal matters less. She holds her cards close to her chest. By when she does it breaks Catrin's heart. Under the law homosexuality is illegal. But it technically only refers to men. Still, Catrin decides she's never met someone as brave as Phyl Moore. She talks about how long it takes her to get to work when she has to avoid certain areas of town. She talks about the men at the ministry who pretend not to hear her when she speaks and spits slurs at her as she leaves. 

Catrin asks her, one night, why she perseveres through it. Before she can finish the question why she doesn't pretend, Phyl asks, voice tired yet sharp, that she is more fearful of living a lie then living in fear. She laughs that neither is preferable but she'll take what she can get in this world. 

She speaks of other things. The things she notices. She speaks fondly of the grocer on her street and the lady who sells her ties without question. She talks to Catrin about films and why she got started in this industry, through a friend who recommended her when he got called up. She talks about how much she loves the countryside. She talks about her favorite season and how much she loves Christmas. 

 

The night before Catrin leaves they stay up far too late. Phyl sneaks some wine into their room. It's early morning and they're both tired and tipsy when Catrin asks, with great hesitation, if Phyl has anyone to go home to. Phyl responds in her usual dry tone but there's a crack in it that softens Catrin's already soft expression. Phyl laughs before saying her bed's been cold for a long while now. There's something in her eye when she speaks again. Catrin isn't sure what it is. 

Phyl tells her of a girl, though she carefully avoids using that word, that left to serve. One of the first females on the front. And Phyl tells her of the girl who came from Scotland a while before the war who had ended up married to a gentleman from Manchester. And Phyl tells her of the girl she had been with for many years when they were both far younger and how it ended poorly, though she doesn't give specifics. And Phyl tells her that she's been lucky. That she knows men and women like her who never find someone like them who is willing and compatible. Phyl says she will never take that for granted. 

"Don't you get lonely?" Catrin asks softly before she can stop herself. 

"I don't get lonely so much as never stop." Phyl mumbles, sleep heavy on her breath. 

"I hope you find her, Phyl," Catrin says before sleep settles over her. 

 

Phyl knows she's gotten herself in too deep. She knows these feelings. She knows that the anger she feels towards Ellis is more than the righteous anger of a friend. She knows that she's always hated Tom Buckley but she envies him now too. She knows that, though her physical gaze never lingers, her thoughts do far too often. And yet, she wouldn't give up the small moments with Catrin for anything. 

She's fairly confident the other woman will never notice. Enrapt in her own love triangle, Catrin had two lovely men to think about, she'd never notice. Still, Phyl vows to be more cautious. She supposes it won't matter since Catrin is leaving on the train that mid-morning. 

She's ashamed to admit that her voice cracks when she tells Catrin she's sure Ellis realizes how lucky he is. She's even more ashamed to admit that her mind goes in the wrong direction when Catrin admits that they aren't really married. 

Catrin, for her part, doesn't - consciously - notice Phyl's reactions, but she has started to notice how much she relies on Phyl. She hasn't had friends in years, let alone one this close. The girls at her old work were very much concerned with either the war, their wages, or the men. They never talked outside of lunch and Catrin didn't care because she was always with Ellis. But now, she is grateful to have Phyl.


End file.
